Wellbeing Blocks

Wellbeing for Children and Young People

Human beings are sometimes said to be social animals. This means we are designed to want to be around others to thrive and survive. Positive relationships with our family and friends are key to our wellbeing and feeling connected.  

The Wellbeing Blocks explained below show six different areas that we can all focus on to make a difference.

The good news is, there are some things we can do to support our wellbeing and feelings of connection to others. It is helpful to think about how to do these things even when things are going well, as well as when we are feeling low. 

Is there someone you can talk to about how you might do this who will be able to help? Someone in your family, a friend, or someone at school?

Connecting with others is a great way of making a plan as you can chat to them about how you are getting on.

Be Kind

Being kind makes others feel better, but it has also been shown to strengthen our own wellbeing. Even small acts of kindness such as making a kind comment to someone or helping them with something can make a huge difference to how they feel. Noticing the difference that makes, makes us feel good too - win-win.

As well as showing kindness to others, being kind to ourselves is also important. Sometimes we can be very hard on ourselves inside our heads. It can be helpful to think instead about what we would say to a friend if they were being hard on themselves. Doing things that we enjoy, eating healthily and taking care of our bodies are all ways to be kind to ourselves.  

Try to make time every day to reflect on what went well. It's important to recognise our successes and the things we are grateful for, no matter how small. Writing these down in a notebook is also helpful for some people. 

Circle of Influence

Spending time thinking about things that we can't change (Circle of Concern), like the law, school rules or major world events, can make us feel worried or anxious. 

It is more helpful to think about things that are within our Circle of Influence and this can reduce time spent on worrying and help us focus on areas we can change.  For example, we can influence:

• making time for daily exercise
• having good routines in place for sleep, schoolwork and free time
• use of social media, what we watch and how long we spend online
• talking to someone we trust about how we are feeling.

Keep Connected

Feeling connected and a sense of belonging is key to wellbeing. Most of us now use technology as one way to connect with others, but there are risks of spending too much time online and it is also important to have face to face contact with others.

Going to school, being part of clubs or groups and joining in with family activities are all good ways to connect with others. It also gives us the chance to be active, see people and have real life conversations. 

Although having some time alone is important for many people, when we have limited contact with others we can feel isolated. It might be hard to ask for help, but it is important to try to do this as other people can help you to find ways of getting more involved in groups or activities.  

Fuel your brain

Our brains naturally produce "feel good" chemicals which can help to protect us from the effects of anxiety and other negative emotions.

We can increase our levels of these chemicals by engaging in the following activities. Things you can try include:

• get fresh air
• good consistent sleep
• mindfulness
• laugh
• positive interactions with others
• play with pets
• exercise
• dance
• listen to music
• relaxation

As well as being good for our bodies, building in times during the day for feel good activities helps keep our energy topped up and improves our mood and feelings of wellbeing.

This has a positive impact on how we function at home, in school and with our friends. 

Make a plan

Predictability and routine are known to reduce anxiety and in turn support wellbeing. Most of us have some simple daily routines that we do without really thinking about them - for example, putting the radio on when we are getting up, having a shower before bed most nights and so on. When we are feeling stressed or anxious, it can be helpful to build in some routine to our days to help us feel more in control.  

Making a simple plan is a tried and tested way to reduce anxiety and adults can really help with this. They can help us to learn how to and practise doing this by:

• Setting realistic goals don't over plan, keep things simple
• Having clear boundaries in place to support a good home/school balance.
• Having routines in place to ensure adequate time for work, rest and play (even adults need to do this).
• Not being too disappointed if goals are not met but noticing and adjusting the plan to make it more manageable. Remember it is important to be kind to ourselves .

Having adult support with this is helpful, but we need to be in charge of our own plan and have a say in the things to target in the plan. It can be helpful to think about the things that might get in the way of success and have a think about how we might problem solve if things don't go to plan. 

Shaping Our Thinking

It is normal to experience difficult emotions at times. Taking the time to recognise and name these difficult feelings makes them more manageable and can help to reduce anxiety. Talking things through with someone we trust can also help. 

Thinking about things that have already happened or may happen in the future can be worrying (remember our Circle of Influence). Instead we should try to focus on the current situation and what we can influence now.

Wellbeing for Parents and Carers

In your role as a parent or carer of a child or young person, you may be familiar with the concept of "putting on your own oxygen mask, before helping others".

This information is part of a series of supports for wellbeing and the focus of this guidance is two-fold. It encourages you to consider your own wellbeing first, with a view to being in a stronger position to support the wellbeing of your child. It pulls together some of the most effective psychological advice to support wellbeing for people of all ages and if you feel that you are able to do so, is designed to help you to support your child, through a shared conversation.   

Human beings are sometimes said to be social animals. This means we are designed to want to be around others to thrive and survive. Positive relationships are key to our wellbeing and feeling connected.    

There are also times when we feel a range of less positive emotions and this is perfectly normal. For example, we might feel anxious, angry, sad, worried or confused and these feelings can be very strong some of the time. This can lead to self-isolation and children and young people are likely to require support as they navigate the ups and downs of life.   

Kindness and Gratitude

Life can be tough and at these times, remembering to show kindness to others and extending this to ourselves through self-compassion will make a difference to our wellbeing. While teaching children and young people this concept, it is important to apply it to ourselves.   

Being kind makes others feel better, but it has also been shown to strengthen our own wellbeing. Even small acts of kindness such as making a kind comment to or helping someone with something can make a huge difference to how they feel. Noticing the difference that makes, makes us feel good too.    

Within the family environment, stresses are a fact of life and we may get it wrong at times in our interactions. Children and young people also make mistakes - that is how they learn. So, for all of us, mistakes are normal and when they happen the most important thing is to acknowledge what has happened and move on positively.    

Sometimes we can be very hard on ourselves. When we feel we have got it wrong, it can be helpful to think about what we would say to our child or a friend if they were in the same situation.    

As families, building good routines, making healthy choices and having fun together are all ways of nurturing and being kind to ourselves.    

Thinking about what we are grateful for is a way to combat anxiety and low mood. Reflecting, identifying and naming 3 positive things which happened in a day is a useful activity, eg we had a nice breakfast together, we all enjoyed watching the film.  

The strategies within the six building blocks to wellbeing have been shown to make a difference to wellbeing for people of all ages. So thinking about how you use/might use some of the strategies is a good first step that you might then use to help your child/young person to identify areas to prioritise. 

Circle of Influence

To support good wellbeing, we need to identify where we can make a difference and direct our attention, energy and actions to those things. This is our circle of influence and will help give us a sense of purpose and control. There are:   

Things we can control or influence - often our own behaviours, such as when we go to bed, whether we exercise, eat healthily, prioritise family time over social media, take a deep breath and walk away if we're feeling things are tough. As parents and carers, it is important to set boundaries for our children, to ensure they get adequate sleep so that they can manage the demands of their day. We can also support them to make the right choices through our discussions with them. How we act, behave and respond, will influence our children's responses. Setting boundaries for ourselves as adults is also important when considering our own wellbeing needs.  

This can sometimes be difficult to do, so being realistic and kind to ourselves is important. We might think to ourselves; "At this point in time I have these resources available to me, these relationships available to draw on, this amount of time for this task, this amount of energy and so what actions can I take?" 

Connectedness and Relationships

Social connections and a sense of belonging are key to wellbeing. However, there are many situations where opportunities feel limited - we may have just moved into a new area and are struggling to meet new friends, we may not be working or working from home and have limited access to colleagues. If we feel that our child or family are isolated, it is important to know that it is okay to ask for help. Schools are a good place to start as they will be able to signpost us to sources of support.   

While access to social media can be useful, it is not a substitute for face-to-face relationships and we should set limits for ourselves and everyone in the family. 

Enhancing our Neurotransmitters

Our brains naturally produce "feel good" chemicals which can help to protect us from the effects of anxiety and other negative emotions. We can increase our levels of these chemicals by engaging in the following activities.   

• Dopamine: Listening to music, relaxation, mindfulness   
• Serotonin: Good consistent sleep, being outside, nature, laughter and comedy  
• Oxytocin: Positive interactions with others, stroking pets   
• Endorphins: Exercise and dancing   

This is useful to think about for ourselves and our children. Building in times during the day for feel good activities helps keep our own energy topped up and aids our capacity to provide support to our families.  

Making a plan

Unpredictability can increase anxiety; however, we can create some predictability by developing simple daily structures and routines. When creating our plans we need to remember:    Set realistic goals - don't over plan for the day, keep it simple.   

• Routine times can help - eg for eating and sleeping - this can help us make things predictable and stay rested and energized. 
• Plan to take a break if you feel that you are becoming short. tempered/overloaded - parents and carers need a break too!  
• Schedule pleasant events - eg reading, calling a friend, cooking, bubble bath. 
• Don't overthink it if those goals are not achieved - tomorrow is another day. 
• Be kind to ourselves - sometimes life takes over.

When creating a plan it can be helpful to identify obstacles that might get in the way. After trying out our plan we should review it as to how it went so we can amend it if necessary, eg a plan to have a fun family time, remove obstacles to this by switching off mobile phones and picking an activity everyone enjoys.  

Shaping our thinking and feelings

It is normal to experience strong emotions at times, and feel anxious, scared, unsettled or powerless. Taking time to name and acknowledge these difficult feelings will make them more manageable and help limit the experience of constant anxiety. This can be done by naming and acknowledging feelings or discussing them with others.   

Talking through a tricky day can help us process it and then we will hopefully feel more able for tomorrow. While making plans is helpful, it is important to acknowledge that difficult feelings may remain. If thinking about the past or the future makes us anxious returning our focus to the present moment may be helpful.    

Another strategy is to spot negative thoughts and then to practice replacing with positive thoughts, eg Red (negative, unhelpful) thoughts, such as - bedtime is always a nightmare, I can't see it getting any better - catching this and replacing with a Green (helpful) thought, such as - bad times don't last, there are things I can try and I'm doing my best.   Revisiting key messages of resilience also helps in reframing our thoughts, being optimistic and having hope for the future. 

• This won't last forever; things will get better.     
• Don't be afraid to ask others for help and support.     
• Remember, everyone faces challenges sometimes, not just me.     
• Keep things in perspective - this is tough but I can be thankful for the good things in life.

Wellbeing for Staff

This information sheet pulls together some of the most effective psychological advice to support wellbeing. It is designed to help you think about your wellbeing needs and acknowledges the importance of looking after yourself first, to enable you to support others. To that end, we would encourage you to consider where you are in relation to each of the blocks of wellbeing and if there are any areas you might target to support your wellbeing.

Once you are confident that your own wellbeing needs are being met, it can be used flexibly too, to model and support wellbeing conversations with children and young people, either individually or within groups or classes.  Human beings are biologically driven to be social and positive relationships are key to wellbeing. In addition to giving attention to your own wellbeing needs, as adults working in schools, you have an important role to model and support positive interactions with children and young people.

In your role, you will be aware that life can be challenging for many children, young people and families and there are times when they may be overwhelmed by the ups and downs they experience. Experiencing strong emotions is a normal part of growing up and the strategies contained within the wellbeing blocks are known to promote better wellbeing.  

There are times when the needs of the child or young person are more significant and the staged intervention framework should be used to guide thinking about the most appropriate support required. It is also important to seek personal support from colleagues if required, to manage these more challenging situations. 

Kindness and Gratitude

Kindness is known to improve wellbeing and there are two key components to this, displaying kindness to others and self-compassion. It is sometimes easier to do the former and children and young people may need support to think about how to do this. Modelling kindness and compassion to others is a key role for staff in schools and discussing with children how to apply this to themselves will be important.  

Gratitude is a known antidote to combat anxiety and low mood. Reflecting, identifying and naming 3 positive things each day is a useful health promoting activity.

Circle of Influence

To support wellbeing we need to identify where we can make a difference and direct our attention, energy and actions to those things. This is our "Circle of Influence" and will help give us a sense of purpose and control. There are: 

• things we can control - often our own behaviours, such as when we go to bed, whether we exercise, eat healthily, limit our social media use; 
• things we can influence by how we act, behave and respond, which will make a difference - for example setting boundaries in our day can influence how we feel by giving us a sense of control over our work-life balance; 
• things we have to accept - those things that we have very little influence over, such as government directives and exam results.

Connectedness and Relationships

Social connections and a sense of belonging are key to wellbeing. It is important to think about what you need to foster this for yourself, both at home and at school. When we are busy it can be easy to neglect our own needs, but it will be really hard to carry out your support role in school if you aren't also nurturing yourself.

As adults working with children, you may be aware of some young people who are struggling with this. If you feel that a child or family are isolated, it is important for a key member of staff to connect sensitively with them to offer to support. Absence from school can sometimes indicate social isolation and a child or family who lack a sense of belonging within the school or community. 

While access to social media is now inevitable and can be a positive support, it is not a substitute for face-to-face relationships and schools are in a good position to open discussion about the risks as well as the benefits of social media platforms. 

Enhancing our Neurotransmitters

Our brains naturally produce "feel good" chemicals which can help to protect us from the effects of anxiety and other negative emotions. You can increase our levels of these chemicals by engaging in the following activities.   

• Dopamine: Listening to music, relaxation, mindfulness    Serotonin: Good consistent sleep, being outside, nature, laughter and comedy   
• Oxytocin: Positive interactions with others, stroking pets   
• Endorphins: Exercise and dancing   

This is useful to think about for yourself and building in times during the day for feel good activities helps keep your own energy topped up and aids your capacity to provide support to children and families.

Making a plan

Predictability and routine are known to support a reduction in anxiety and in turn support wellbeing. Simple daily routines and structures, which most of you will incorporate into your days, without much thought, sometimes need to be planned more explicitly in times of higher stress. Making a simple plan is a tried and tested way to reduce anxiety and the following key considerations will be helpful.   • Set realistic goals - don't over plan, keep things simple  

• Have clear boundaries in place to support a good work-life balance  
• Have routines in place to ensure adequate time for work, rest and play (this is important for children and adults alike)  
• Don't be too hard on yourself if goals are not met but notice and adjust the plan to make it more manageable. Remember self-compassion.

If moving beyond your own planning to supporting children and young people to make plans for themselves, they will need support to learn how to do this. But it is important to remember that they own the plan and the goals should be meaningful to them. It can also be helpful to identify potential obstacles that might get in the way of the plan and to problem solve around them.  

You may wish to draw on your self-regulation training if you have had this, to incorporate self-regulation strategies and language.

Shaping our thinking and feelings

It is normal to experience strong emotions at times, and feel anxious, scared, unsettled or powerless. Taking time to name and acknowledge these difficult feelings will make them more manageable and help limit the experience of constant anxiety. This can be done by naming or acknowledging feelings yourself or discussing them with others. Talking things through with others can act as a buffer to make distressing or difficult emotions feel more manageable. Think about who can support you at home and in school to do this.

While making plans is helpful, it is important to acknowledge that difficult feelings may remain. If thinking about the past or the future makes you anxious, returning your focus to the present moment may be helpful.    

Another strategy is to check yourself if you are having pervasive negative thoughts (red thoughts) and then to practice replacing with positive (green) thoughts, eg Red thought, such as, "I will never get through my to do list" -, catching this and replacing with a Green thought, such as, "I am expecting too much of myself and if I prioritise it will feel more manageable" 

Revisiting key messages of resilience also helps in reframing our thoughts, being optimistic and giving hope for the future:    

• This won't last forever; things will get better.    
• Don't be afraid to ask others for help and support.   
• Remember everyone faces challenges from time to time, not just me.   
• Keep things in perspective - this is tough but I can be thankful for the good things in life.   

Further support for staff wellbeing can be accessed here:  Employee wellbeing